Reflections on Rejection

In the last two months I have endured a ridiculous amount of rejection. I have had scripts rejected from writing competitions, not been cast in an independant theatre production and had numerous job applications either turned down or simply ignored. Just today I got another "thanks but no thanks" email response to a job application, and this was one I thought I actually had a shot at. Ouch.

I am no stranger to rejection being an actress, and I am pretty resilient around it to a point, but that point has most certainly been passed. It hurts to be turned down, and of course it hurts even more right now because I'm trying so hard to find my place here, to make my mark and be taken seriously. Everything I thought I was good at back home is being re-evaluated and scrutinised, and often found wanting. It's a wake-up call equivalent to a slap in the face with a pap snoek. It's both painful and humiliating, and leaves you questioning the life choices that have left you smelling of, well, snoek. The horror.

The wake-up call is that Australia is the real world, where you need more than transferrable skills, a big smile and a bit of bluster to get a job. Everyone is talented, skilled and educated, and they're hungry and confident too. They're making things happen from a much younger age, and because there are so many of them, the pool is way bigger and way better. So, what all this rejection is actually telling me is that I need to up my game. I need to ask myself some tough questions about how much I want to achieve certain things and how hard I am prepared to work for them.

So, after a big cry and a wallow in the shallow, salty waters of self-pity I'm back, fixing my scripts and applying for more jobs. What choice do I have? I can't give up. It's not in my nature, and it's not at all helpful. Plus - a girl's got bills y'all. (Right now one of my biggest fears is that my hubby starts singing Gwen Guthrie's "Ain't Nothing Going On but the Rent" around the house, subtly reminding me that I have to have a J-O-B, if I want to be with him.) Let's hope it doesn't get to that!

I will keep trying and hopefully, soon, something will give. Got to keep the faith!

#rejection #resilience #jobs